I want a pet

I’ve had a lot of conversations about adopting a pet. It’s not a resolution or anything. It’s just that I want someone to love me and for me to love back. I think most people understand this. However, I’ve received a mix response after surveying my friends.

Me: I want a cat.
Friend: Eww. I hate cats.
Me: Thanks.

Me: Would you get a cat?
Friend: I don’t do pets.
Me: Why?
Friend: Because, their asses hang out.
Me: I guess I never thought of that.
Friend: Yeah, and then they jump on your bed and put their asses on your pillow.
Me: Eww.
Friend: Still want a cat?
Me: Yes.

Me: Oh, you adopted a cat recently? I am thinking about getting one.
Friend: My cat is the devil.
Me: What?
Friend: See these scratches? This f—ing cat hates me.
Me: OMG. How long have you had the cat?
Friend: 5 months. I contemplated returning him, but he won’t let me pick him up.
Me: That sucks.
Friend: And he throws ups everywhere.
Me: Oh wow.
Friend: …and my sofa is ruined, rugs are jacked…
Me: Oh.
Friend: …I have hair everywhere…
Me: I think I’m late for a meeting…

Me: I want a micro pig.
Friend: That’s a thing?
Me: It’s so cute!
Friend: I want to Google this.
Me: Don’t bother. I’ll send you all of the pictures I’ve already stored on my phone.

 Me: I’ve decided I want a mini pig.
Friend: You want a micro pig?
Me: Yes, all black.
…
Friend: You need a walking license.
Me: OMG, I want to walk him at Stony Point Fashion Park. Everyone will love him.
….
Friend: They carry lots of diseases.
Me: Oh no! You’re killing my micro pig dream.
Friend: They also need a companion.
Me: Oh, he can play with your cat.
Friend: No.

 

I have yet to make a decision on a pet purchase. However, I have decided that I will wait until my return from Paris this year. Yep, that’s right. I’m going back to Paris for about 3.5 weeks.

Miss your faces,

Stanley